Don't push yourself for something you don't want to do

Kind insult on 1st day internship in a newspaper

Enters a man in his forties (though my eyes deceive age) and came straight towards me, my shaky legs refused to pop while his right arm stretched hurriedly touched the pious goddess feet, I remained static. My bewilder face made it clear that I’m an afraid donkey whom he can easily shoo off, but the most annoying inner me kept me alive somehow. ‘Introduce yourself’, he said; I went on with a monotonic tone which I have been repeating all way long from campus placements while the inner voice kept prompting with some really disgusting excuse, ‘you need glucose, you will die anytime’. I tried to postpone the inner battle to lunch time though the stubborn had no work today than to piss me off.
I managed to speak with one grammatical error, some fumbling and many unnecessary pauses. Ah! It’s over.

Now it was his turn to embarrass me for my so called unprofessional attitude but against my hope he praised my looks (which I took satirically) and suggested to work on my communication skills (which I straight way drained into the bin). After waiting for an hour I was called in an inner chamber, where the inner me was still digging on me, ‘Megha run away please don’t waste your and his time.’ Where to go after this what to tell people that I’m scared of internships or should I say I’m scared of the word news or this dim wit. This is a life I have chosen. Fuck off.

People around me were big and huge. I mean they were good in the sense, every time they talked, a tense ambience was built and it helped me to believe I’m alive. I got half heart-attack when he gave me a question paper and said to write it down. All past torturous incident of exams and tests flashed before my eyes in a series and I who was pre-assumed immature got a thrash of life once again. ‘GK’, essay on save water and few normal English grammar questions, he gave me a look of see I have given the easiest question paper which even a nursery child can do. I don’t know whether it was easy or not because all I knew on that paper was English.  I said to myself I can feel you.

I left it incomplete and submitted the answer sheet/confused sheet. 
Next day I got a call, they said: You are a failure.