Silly! Still true...Are hostel rules same for men and women?

Inspite of waiting for the change, be the change.

See things in your way, your one step can inspire many

How far this concept of freedom is correct? We bark every freaking hour that it is high time - women need freedom, women need security, women need this women need that…why don’t everyone just stop this nonsense and think for a while, whatever is happening around us is what we have sowed from generation, it’s time to reap it.  

Just look around and you will find the prisoners everywhere, some have soaked their tears while others have chosen alternative to escape sufferings. Not going to rapes and sexual abuses, there are wiser people to talk about it, I’m here concerned about little things. We forget these little things though it has imprints in our personalities and it is being carried to generations until someone really get harsh to stop it.

We know it is wrong, deep down our heart we accept it but we hardly have enough courage to go against majority belief. I remember when my Hindi teacher in class 8^th insulted me in front of the whole class but out of respect or disgusted by the language of my teacher no one spoke up. She asked me, “Are you a boy?” Out of frustration I cross questioned, “How different I’m from them? We both are humans after all, aren’t we?” She got irritated by my tone and thought to give me a life time lesson: “Open your clothes then, boys can do this, why don’t you try it too?” I was shocked, I thought she could have at least answered me inspite of taking my words in her ego.  Unsatisfied and with hatred in my eyes which dropped in forms of tears and I burst out in front of all. 

I would have been 12 that time may be 14, and still I knew the right and wrong. The time when I had no clue what feminists are or what they do, that time despite my grandmothers suspicious look over my activities, I managed to defeat her with words whenever she reminded me of my gender.The thing is that what I had questioned long back, is questioned again but by others this time.   

Why my bra strips bring shame to my family? Why buying sanitary napkins without wrapping it in a newspaper and black polybag is awful? Why I can’t have a night-out with my friends? Why entering temple on my periods is sinful? Why not alcohol is as bad for the boys as it is for the girls? Why I need to be virgin to be a perfect wife? But I better spare these questions, because I have the silliest one to deal with.

Girls Hostel timings!

We are locked at 6.30pm because the hostel rules want us to end our works in this scotching heat. It’s 31 degree in Ranchi, 35 in Banaras, and to ask wardens of these cities to increase few more minutes is like playing with fire and not burning your hands but ruining your career because all they know is to black mail us by giving miss calls to our parents. And one more thing next time you see your sister, girlfriend, daughter buying suns cream and if she lives in a hostel, then show some sympathy and let her buy the costlier one. Bow in respect because even after warden’s strategy to turn us into ashes we flaunt our flawless skin.

How many of us have hostel timing declaring women can stay out till 7? I think 7 is the maximum a can girl desire for, she might kiss the warden for doing the same. Still most of the hostels prefer a close look to their criminals (generally we call them girls) with their owl-eyes, checking every room if the prisoner has returned, at times eaves dropping while standing outside the door to hear the alleged conspiracy.

Be it her house or her husbands or schools or colleges. Every where we can easily witness the injustice of society who claims to have almost reached where women is heard and her freedom is restored. Blah!

Few days back I had read Paulo’s new book ‘The Spy’ and I realised it is the truth of this world and not that which biggers of the nation claims: “Women are the prisoners in their alleged freedom”.

Well well, everything is fine till your father’s phone rings, and I can imagine the ashen face of many girls who fear their dad. Few minute late and be ready with the answers, ours parents hardly believe us because warden has already done her work and filled his ears with things which we never thought she knows. Just a glimpse of the over acting of a lady warden with which every girl living in a hostel can relate:

The greatest spy of all time, “ You know your daughter has a boyfriend, his name is Rahul and his brothers name is Shambhu, they study in a same class, they meet every day…and she wear kajol everytime, sometime lipstick too and that too of red! Oh my God, I swear I care for these girls like a mother and look what they are doing with their life, and today I had guessed that she will be late because she had put strong perfume and glittery clothes, along with that devilish lipcolour…….I must not worry you more.” Click. Phone's dead. So are we.

Imagine what else you need to tell you dad after all this and then you know what he will say, “pack your bag and come back, bohat kar le padhaye”. 

I have my siblings who ask me about the college life and how it is to live in a hostel, though I have endless tale of aggressive arguments with wardens and the landlord, I avoid it. I tell them the better side of it. I pray they know what is correct and not compromise at the cost of their life enjoyment.

Parents choose the best hostel with the strict rules and regulations, I don’t know how far it will help children to follow the righteous path but one thing is for sure more we put barriers and restrictions around them, more they will suffocate and it will kill their ability to learn. Just like a bird in the cage, even it's a golden one, everyone aspires to fly.

If you are allowing a man to enter after 10 pm then why not a woman? If the so called society raise voice on a woman and insults her with useless questions like what she was doing this late? With whom she was? And all nonsensical question which has nothing to do with her is just an insult to her, an attempt to tamper her image and lower her morale.

Before raising a word to your children, talking them in person is a better option. And no one in this world is born to judge us, we better know the limitations. And we need guidance not judgements. 

If we are accepting these stupid rules than we should better know how to get rid of it, and if we are silent than we should know how to speak up when time comes.